Privacy Policy

1. Satirical Nature of Site

AntiochDemocrats.com is SATIRE. This site is protected by the First Amendmentand exists for political commentary and humor. We are not affiliated with any official political organization.

The "Hurt Feelings Report" and other interactive features are jokes. Your submissions don't go anywhere real. There is no committee reviewing your outrage. It's parody.

2. Information We Don't Collect

We don't collect, store, or process any personal information through the satirical forms on this website. When you "file a hurt feelings report," it doesn't actually get saved anywhere. It's a joke.

3. Cookies & Analytics

This site may use standard web analytics (like Google Analytics) to understand traffic patterns. These are industry-standard tools that collect anonymous usage data.

We don't track your political affiliation, voting history, or how many times you've cried about politics this week. (Though we're guessing it's a lot if you're here.)

4. Affiliate Links & Third Parties

This site contains Amazon affiliate links. When you click these links and make purchases, Amazon (not us) handles your transaction data according to their privacy policy.

We don't receive any personal information from your purchases. We just get a small commission. Because even satirists need to eat.

5. External Links

This site links to external websites (like Antioch-Republicans.com). We're not responsible for their privacy practices. But we're pretty sure they're not collecting your pronouns either.

6. Your Rights

You have the right to:

• Laugh at political satire
• Be offended and close the tab
• Share this with friends who need a sense of humor
• Recognize obvious parody when you see it
• Not take everything so seriously

7. Children's Privacy

This site is not intended for children under 13. Though honestly, most 13-year-olds would probably get the joke faster than some adults.

8. Data Security

Since we don't collect your data through our satirical forms, there's nothing to secure. Your hurt feelings are safe with you. We promise we're not building a database of progressive trauma.

9. Contact Information

If you have questions about this privacy policy or the satirical nature of this site, please remember that this is SATIRE and protected by the First Amendment.

We're not actually collecting your data to send to the DNC. We're not building files on Trump supporters. It's. A. Joke.

10. Changes to Privacy Policy

We may update this privacy policy to stay current with best practices and legal requirements. Or we might not. It's satire. Relax.